Britt and Chrono Trigger: A Tragic Love Story
Hi friends! Britt here, and I want to talk about Chrono Trigger.
You see, dear friends, one of my biggest regrets is that I’ve never really played Chrono Trigger. In fact, it wasn’t until six years ago that I briefly played it for the first time (thanks to Wii’s Virtual Console) but because a mishmash of reasons the game didn’t really grab me. (There was a lot going on at the time – new job, new boy, new solo living arrangement, y’know, LIFE.)
If I had played Chrono Trigger as a child I’m almost positive it would’ve become one of my favorites. However, I am no longer a wee lass but instead an old, decrepit woman. So, as they say – better late than never, right?
I’ve made it my goal to finish Chrono Trigger before the end of 2017. But apparently that’s not as easy as it sounds? Let me tell you about my many attempts at playing this game. I NEED TO VENT.
You already know about my failed attempt to get into Chrono Trigger six years ago. Blame life for that one. So, our real struggle begins a year ago. I was craving something older, a JRPG classic, and I thought Chrono Trigger would be the PERFECT fit. I did some brief research and it was suggested that I play Chrono Trigger on DS for its extra bells and whistles.
Thus I ordered Chrono Trigger for my 3DS. But once it arrived I didn’t like how small the font was on the screen, and ehhh, I felt like Chrono Trigger deserved to be played on something bigger. I knew Wii U didn’t have Chrono Trigger in its eShop, but I remembered I had downloaded Chrono Trigger on my Wii from my half-assed attempt several years ago. I was going to go that route BUUUT then I remembered I hadn’t seen my Wii in, like, four years. I mean, I knew where the Wii’s controllers were, but that was – to quote my senior history teacher – “as useless as tits on a boar hog.” (OR SO I THOUGHT THIS WILL BE RELEVANT LATER I PROMISE UGH.) I could’ve downloaded Chrono Trigger on PSN, or played the freakin’ cartridge on SNES but I had just moved and things were in boxes and LONG STORY SHORT it seemed like a lot of work to make Chrono Trigger happen. I moved onto something else and Chrono Trigger was put on the backburner.
Last week I FINALLY freakin’ finished Persona 5 and needed something new to play while I walk on my treadmill. JRPGs work REALLY well for this (FPS do not) and, once again, Chrono Trigger popped into my head. I still had no clue where my Wii was, but by now I had found my PS3 and it was – get this – already hooked up to my TV in the treadmill room. IT WAS FATE.
After 30 minutes of playing Chrono Trigger I checked at an online guide to see if I had missed anything. It was then that I learned that there are consequences for your actions and I had made ALL OF THE WRONG DECISIONS. (Sorry for eating your lunch, old man.) I was not okay with my transgressions, so I scrapped my progress and intended to start over the next day.
I’ve played Chrono Trigger for approximately 30 minutes and apparently I’ve already made all of the bad decisions. Guess I’m starting over!
— Brittney Brombacher (@BlondeNerd) July 3, 2017
Well, shit got busy so it was only yesterday that I was able to start over. I made “good” decisions, explored more than I had before and was REALLY getting into it when I thought to save my game. It was at this glorious moment that I was reminded that the PS3’s internal memory card was a thing that could run out of space. And that, friends, is exactly what happened. I was literally unable to save my game, so I had to scrap my progress (again) and start over.
Earlier today I started Chrono Trigger for the 3rd time. Thankfully this game is incredibly charming, so starting over a bajillion times isn’t an issue (and it’s not like I’ve made major progress) but something that became a major issue were the loading times. Gahhhh. From what I’ve gathered the game was poorly ported to PSN in 2011, and loading times are an issue throughout the entire game. There’s a five second lag to open your menu, to start a battle, to end a battle, to enter a house, etc.
Twenty minutes into my 3rd attempt at Chrono Trigger I finally had enough of the PSN version’s awful load times. Because I didn’t want these to hinder my experience with Chrono Trigger, I set my mind on finding my Wii so I could play Chrono Trigger in a non-stressful and rather delightful manner. I scoured my garage, I tore open boxes, I stubbed many a’ toe and after 30 minutes I FINALLY found my Wii. But, like, I only found the single, lone Wii. No cords, no cables, nothing. At that point I decided it would be much more convenient (and healthy for my sanity) if I just went on Amazon and ordered what I needed (AC adapter, component cable) INSTEAD of tearing my house apart looking for the damn cords.
But as I was finishing this post, dear friends, I remembered something. Something that would have saved me all of this heartache. I remembered that, five years ago, after the Wii U released, I transferred all of my Wii Virtual Console titles to the Wii U.
This whole time…this whole, fucking time…all I’ve needed were my Wii controllers. The Wii controllers will allow me to access ALL OF MY VIRTUAL CONSOLE GAMES INCLUDING CHRONO TRIGGER on my Wii U. Which, by the way, is already hooked up to the TV upstairs in front of my treadmill and has been for the last, oh, 9 or so months.
So there’s that. I’m going to grab a whiskey now.
